A Current Perspective on Friendship

According to dictionary.com friendship is "the state of being a friend" but what does being a friend mean? There are many different ways of figuring out what a determines an individual being a friend. There is also the saying "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." Does this imply that your best friend is actually your enemy or the people who claim to be your best friends are actually your enemies?

I ask this because I value friendship. To me I want my friends to not talk shit about me behind my back. If you have a problem with me let me know. When you talk shit about me that makes me feel like you are an enemy not a friend. It also shows me that you are still in high school not an upperclassman in college or a college graduate. I do admit their is a huge difference between venting about a person to another person and talking shit about them or spreading rumors. Those people are enemies. Another thing about friendship is understanding and willing to accept that your friends may have other friends that you may not like or care to see. Instead of constantly criticizing and stating how you dislike that person grow the fuck-up and deal. If you don't like that person then don't talk about them, especially don't talk shit about them because it makes you look like a school girl.

Also don't justify whether you will be going to a party, bar, movie or any other function based upon who else is going. I believe being in our early twenties we should have outgrown a lot of these immature actions that I seem to be surrounded by at the moment. Just because you "dislike" or "hate" someone doesn't mean you have to start drama and try to make that person's life hell. You just need to show other people respect. If you lack that then how can you ever call yourself a genuine friend.

A friend for me has respect for all people, whether you like them or not. A friend also shouldn't make their friends constantly feel stupid or make them feel like a duchebag on a constant basis. That is not what friendship is for. Friendship is so much more. It is about being there for your friends and having friends be there for you. Even if there is a larger tragedy in ones life than an other's the smaller one may need to be taken care of first. It isn't a competition of "whose life sucks more" it is a cumulative effort of making both lives equally great and having fun. Life only sucks if you want it to suck. You could look at Camus' example of Sisyphus and see how much his punishment sucked and how horrible it was but he was still happy.

Even of you think your life is the worst life in the world you could also get some pointers from Dostoevsky's character the Under Ground Man. His life was horrible and he knew it but he didn't care. He was only happy when he was miserable.

Friendship is a lot of stuff but mostly it is respect, love, caring, having fun, understanding, knowing when it is your place to be the shoulder, not to annoy your friends for always wanting to be up in their business (when they want to share with you they will), and not doing horrible things to the people you call friends. So if you call me your friend, treat me like one or tell me that you are my fucking enemy and let me know how you truly feel about me.