Sunday, July 31, 2011

Write This Way

Recently I was asked "Why do you write?" I had to stop and think. I had to ask myself the same question. My mind went in fifty million different directions upon why I write but it all boiled down to one thing, happiness. I write because it makes me happy. I don't do it for anyone else, I do it for myself.

I know I am not the best writer in the world and nor do I try to say I am. I don't even say I am a good writer. I am an average writer but I enjoy it. I have passion for writing, sitting down and exploring my thoughts as they come. I don't proofread immediately before publishing blogposts, sometimes I didn't even proofread my college papers. Sometimes I never proofread. I have grammatical errors, typos, fragments and run-ons. I am pretty sure I have all basic problems in any first draft. Eventually I will do a copy edit. It could be two hours after finishing a thought to 10 days. I'll gloss it up eventually, more than likely after I shared it with people though.

I feel that writing is an art and that it is never complete. When writing I am always missing something. It is never perfect. I am a critic to myself and to others as well. I take the criticism. I strive to take that criticism and fix it in my writing style. The more I write the more I feel free. I am able to explore new thoughts and ideas. Change my style, create random metaphors. Make a sentence euphoric. I like to play around with things I write. Some of this art is beautiful to me, others end up in the waste basket or still in front of my friends' eyes. Some doesn't get shared. I am not sure what posses me to decide what doesn't get shared but like I said I write for myself.

I am constantly looking up new words, synonyms and antonyms to expand my vocabulary. Writing is constantly changing. Then new ideas from old ideas form and expand to create an even larger overall thought. Some of these thoughts become contradictory a paradox. It makes it art.

When I am in my writing zone, I have to get it down before I lose it. When I lose it, the thought never sounds as good as when I first had it.  This is were the grammatical errors come alive to create part of the art. It shows that passion of that current thought. The thought was so grand and powerful that the thought couldn't make it all the way to paper because a new thought emerged and your poor hands can;t get it on paper fast enough. Eventually more will be added to finish a thought. That is the art or the thought will remain incomplete showing a new segment of the art that is being read.

Writing is always evolving. Nothing is a master piece, it cannot ever reach perfection. It can only increase. I feel that it is never finished. I try to capture it all but it still remains in thought. The words are never as clear as it was in mind. This is why I write. I write to write to add to collect. In order to write and continue writing and growing I read. I look at these other pieces of art and I try to figure out what I like about it to inspire more of my own art.

I write this way. Help perfect it but don't say it is wrong. Just write.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Helping a Friend in Need

I have always been willing to help friends in need, all the time. It is like the Toy Story song You've Got a Friend in Me. It is a part of my soul. I think this is why I find myself in hour long conversations with the homeless and also those hours upon hours of phone calls being the friend that one can vent to, cry to, and sometimes I give great advice and other times I give shitty advice. What I know is that I am there for my friends. New friends, old friends, acquaintances. I feel that their stories are stories that I can empathize with and look at my life and reflect upon that notion.

Well today was one of those days when I was a damn good friend. I hardly know any people in Austin, but the ones I do, I feel close to. The friend I helped out today I met in Austin. However our common ground is Nevada. We have a lot of similarities and somehow during our undergrad years we never met one another but our circles definitely mingled. Some of my closest friends from Reno are friends with this particular person. That connection alone makes us great friends. It is a Nevada thing. I don't know how to describe it. I would do anything for Nevadans abroad. Being a Nevadan out of Nevada is hard work.

Anyway the reason why I am such a damn good friend is because I moved this persons apartment to storage. My friend is doing research out of the United States and their lease ends tomorrow. So I took care of the moving the rest of their stuff to storage. However the adventure doing this became unpredictable.

While living in Austin, I have taken a more green life by not having a car. In order to move stuff from the apartment to storage I borrowed my friend's car that I was helping. This car is a manual. I know how to drive a manual but I am not very good at it. I picked the vehicle up yesterday and as I was driving from North Austin to South Austin I hit rush hour traffic on the 35. I thought I was going to breakdown and cry because I fear traffic in Reno and now I am faced driving a manual vehicle in rush hour traffic in Austin. I swear the traffic here is like that in SoCal. I survived.

I then drove to the storage unit and filled out the lease. My friend will be able to take it over upon their arrival back to the States. I just needed to sign papers my friend took care of the payment and everything.

So today I woke-up, ate breakfast and went to Summermoon to drink coffee and write my earlier blogpost before heading over to the apartment to meet the movers. I got to the apartment, checked the mail. Re-read the e-mail I got from my friend and found the card that is going to be used to pay for the movers. I then directed the movers to take the rest of the furniture out of the apartment. We then headed to the storage unit. My friend's card wasn't activated, so I paid for the movers (thankfully I have become more frugal with my monies), no big deal. I will get paid back. I then went home to rest.

I then headed back to the apartment after rush hour traffic. Packed some smaller things into the car. Cleaned the apartment and went to the storage unit. I followed a vehicle in because I am that type of American. Impatient. I then unloaded the rest of the stuff. I then tried to leave the storage unit. The gate would not let me out. I was stuck. I called the office, no answer. SHIT ON ME. I waited for forty minutes for someone else to leave the unit so I could exit. During that time I learned that I could not get my friend's car into reverse.

I hate manual. I am never driving stick again. Only in cases of emergencies like this was today. I am not sure if I can count the amount of times that I killed that car in first. It is always that gear. I hate first gear with a passion and even more so when I got stuck behind the gated storage units for forty minutes. However, my friend is out of their apartment. I just have to turn the keys in tomorrow. I think I will be taking the bus (I still gotta fix that damn flat tire on my bike). 

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Journey Changes

It is hard to believe that I have been in Austin now for about 4 1/2 months and my journey here has changed completely. My lease ends at the end of September. My wonderful government job has ended. I am finding myself with a plentiful amount of free time. I have enough saved up for rent for the next two months. Then what????

I made that destiny change for myself. My original plan was to move forward and move to Washington DC. I would do the couch surf and stay on couches with friends who are struggling and some who are making it in that city as I attempt to get a a job on the Hill. After discovering new things about myself, I am taking a new journey. I am following my spirit. It may be stupid but I am young, I have nothing holding me anywhere (except for a lease).

I thought of a few things I could do. I could go and buy a backpack and a plane ticket to So Cal and start the Pacific Crest Trail until it gets to cold to continue on and find a small Sierra Nevada town to hang out in until the spring, then continue my journey. (This one appeals so much to me and the PCT is on my bucket-list). However, I was more reasonable, I realized I was in an amazing bad ass city at the moment and by working full-time I haven't been able to explore all the perks of live music and other fun adventurous things to do that Austin has to offer.

Shannon just moved here and I am starting to find more like minded people in this city. So I had to follow my spirit. I applied for a job at Starbucks. This is the story of how that went. Last week I applied for a Starbucks position because I knew I would be laid-off soon. I then got an interview at Starbuck for the following Friday. The day before my interview my boss informed me that Friday morning all of the temp employees will be told that they are going to be let go. I went to my interview on Friday after finding out I was laid-off. I nailed the interview. I then jumped on my bike and cycled back to work. I popped a tube on my way to work. KARMA! I then got off work and changed my tube, then headed downtown to watch Adestria and other bands play a show. On my way downtown I popped the brand new tube I just changed. DOUBLE KARMA. I then worked for the feds the next two days flipping out that I hadn't heard back from Starbucks yet. Finally Sunday evening I got a call and was offered a job. I started on Monday. So I went to my fed job, then to Starbucks. On my way to Starbucks I popped another damn tube (I haven't fixed this one yet).

Karma she is telling me something not sure what it is yet.

The idea of working for Starbucks is actually quite exciting. I can essentially live anywhere that Starbucks has a location and ask for a transfer. I was preparing to throw random cities in a hat and ask for a transfer for whatever city I pull out of the hat. Instead destiny occurred. I got a text from Deisa asking me to move to Seattle with her in December.

Seattle = Starbucks = I must get a transfer. This is destiny and my spirit taking me there. For the next few months I am going to work my ass off in my new world of baristahood and get a transfer to Seattle. From there I am hoping to work my up into the corporate ladder.

Yes, I know my plan in life changes all the time. That is who I am. A dreamer. I dream big, I follow some, I do irrational things such as randomly packing up my belongings and going. I LOVE IT. The one thing that Austin has been teaching me is to do more of these adventurous things. I am not 100 percent ready to start a career and get roots somewhere. I want adventure, I want change, I want to see the world (at the least the United States). I can't help it. I feel that there is more to life than that 9-5 job that my education is suppose to get me. I blame this blogpost, actually I don't blame I thank.

I might be absurd, it could be from all of the Kerouac reading I have done or other similar writers (not all of them are beatniks). These writings speak to me. They show me that life is worth living and traveling. Not stationing yourself in one location forever. So I am happy to say I am going to move to Seattle.

My steps of getting there are

1: Extend my lease until the end of November
2: Learn as much about the Starbucks corporation as possible
3: Become a kick-ass barista
4: Never stop trying
5: Allow changes to happen

If I can't get my lease to extend then my plan will change, I will find a place to sublet for two months or I will go to Reno and sleep on Deisa's couch until we are ready to pack-up our bags and hit the road for Seattle. It is very interesting to see where my journey has taken me so far throughout life and I am still at the beginning of it.

So far my life has been rural Nevada, urban Nevada, Interior Alaska, urban Nevada, Central Texas and now it is headed to the Pacific Northwest. I am scared but excited at the same time. In the meantime as well, since I have downtime again it is the perfect time to start studying for the GRE. So my life is even more becoming coffee, reading, writing, listening to live music, having an occasional drunken excursions, cycling and what not.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Dreamer in a coffee shop


This is what I am, a dreamer in a coffee shop. I come-in and sit, I wait. I never seem to know what I am waiting for anymore but I still wait.

I keep waiting to the point where I just have to leave because I am tired of waiting. It is like being stood-up on a date because you waited for so long.

I still don't know what I am waiting for. Maybe for my dreams to come true, love, a friend, someone from my past, a ghost, who knows.

As I wait I begin to go on these adventurous day dreams. Some of them are lost in a fantastical thought of fighting evil with Frodo or Harry Potter to the evil that is in my heart.

I still wait...am I waiting for evil or for life? So I create an image of where I will be in 15 years about to hit the age 40. I ask am I on the right track? I do not know.

Well it finally came to me today. I wait for nothing because nothing is what I fear. Instead I allow those dreams to come because those dreams aren't nothing they are something. I am done waiting for you nothing, so stop trying to come.

Instead I am taking a new journey and I will continue to follow that spirit of mine where ever it guides me. If my spirit wants to do something I shall follow, I shall conquer, I shall live.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Stupid Piece of Plastic That I Need


There is nothing scarier in the world than waking up the next morning to....

Realizing that your wallet is not in fact safely tucked away on the clear spot that is designated for said wallet. "Oh shit" comes to mind, "I could have sworn I had it." Then the hustle of jumping out of bed in a dead panic; I find that this works better than my actual alarm that goes off nearly 15 times every morning. I can't help but scurry over to the pair of shorts that I wore the day before to check that left back pocket. The wallet is still missing.

"Where to look next," is what comes to mind "The kitchen". Still no wallet. I am in shock that I lost the one thing that is probably more essential to my life than my iPhone. The item that contains more than my credit cards but the card that is my identity. "My ID is gone," I panted in a dead panic. Not having that stupid piece of plastic that proves I am a person was missing. It is a government photo ID that I need to access just about anything and the only way I can replace it is going back to the state of Nevada because I am currently residing in Texas or that means to stop being a Nevadan and become a Texan. That ID card is who I am. I am Nevadan and I want to keep my identity of being a Nevadan abroad.

I had to think. I thought. The last place I remember having my wallet was on the bus ride home because I had to swipe my bus pass which was in my wallet. I then had to think what else was in that wallet of mine. Credit cards, debit cards, health care cards, $15 cash, you know nothing important. I thought even more. I must have been pick pocketed because I was standing on this particular bus.

This was time for major flip-out mode but it still needed to wait because I had to get to work and if I panic much more I will be late. So I jumped on my bike, even with my leg that I knew was hurting from pushing myself to hard cycling, with my mind on my wallet I didn't care that my leg was in pain. My emotional pain was far greater.

I got to work and decided to call Capital Metro's lost and found. The kind woman said that they will not know the items lost the day before until 3:00 pm. Stress hits even more. Do I cancel my cards or keep an eye on my accounts. Some of my co-workers including the bossman suggested canceling, however, I went with my gut and just checked my bank balance every 20 minutes.

Finally thinking that I was going to have to get a new ID I called the Nevada DMV to find out if there was a way to get a duplicate ID. They said yes but it will have no picture. "NO PICTURE ID, WTF?" is what I thought. That probably won't let me buy beer, let alone get me on a flight. However if I had to, I would.

I was almost to the point of making copies of the paper photocopy of my ID to post around saying "WANTED: Adam K. Allen ID." I rationalized and decided to follow the advice that another coworker suggested, call back Capital Metro and see if I can be put in contact with the bus driver. BINGO!!!! It worked. My wallet was found. After waiting impatiently all day I went and picked up this good of mine.

I opened my wallet to see the damage. There was none. My cash was even still sitting in the billfold. All what I could say is the people of Austin are amazing and truthful. This is such a kind city. I definitely racked in on good karma, but then again in a capitalist society there is a price for everything. My price for my wallet being retrieved in perfect condition was pulling my damn hamstring from pushing myself to far. I am still not sure if it was worth-it but then again the world works in a mystery way and I now have a new experience. It could have gone worse, I could have no wallet and a pulled hamstring.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Dear Katherine

An interesting night occurred at one of the bars I frequent here in Austin. This bar is called Kung Fu Lounge. This bar has really grown on me. A place where I can and just relax and have a happy hour pint on a Monday night (My Friday but happy hour is all night). It is typically a pint of Fireman's 4, a Texas beer. This particular night I was feeling up to talking to strangers and getting to meet new people who enjoy this local hang out as much as I do.

Z and I gathered around the life size connect four where two gals and a gent were playing. I asked if I could play winner. They naturally agreed. Myself hoping that the ladies would win and allow Z and I to work our charm. The lesson learned here is that before you call winner make sure that the male opponent is not a physicist because you are bound to play a physicist, who can literally kick your ass at life size connect four in about 8 moves and you will not have one on one time with the ladies.

It felt that the universe was just working against us that night because later on Z and I were the back-end of what seemed to be a joke that would occur in high school. We left the patio and decided to sit on a bench in the bar. We were deep in our normal philosophical debate about other dimensional worlds and the process of the world speeding up for a global evolutionary process, how mother Earth is giving birth to a new world (Yes I know we are nerds and then some). All of a sudden a beautiful gal who is out of both of our leagues came-up and was like "Hi guys how are you" and then asked if she can sit in between us. Z and I are pretty laid back so it was no big deal until we could tell it was awkward for her and her friends took a picture and she proceeded to leave.

My extravert drunkself afterwards realized that we were some part of a practical joke. So I went up to her, Katherine the Kung Fu Whore, and said "It's Katherine right? So, what was the dare?" This made her and her friends realize the petty immature individuals they are. I hope that they grow-up one day. I have been out of high school way to long to be the end of a practical joke, so I had to call them out on it. Something I would have never of done in my extremely nerdy 15-year-old self when I was at the end of a joke, instead I made their joke the real joke.

I learned a lot about myself and I am learning to stand-up for myself even more than ever. I can now reflect on myself even more and just call people out on the hateful things they do for their own amusement. This is a tool that the universe felt I need to know for whatever I am to endure in my future. Don't fuck with Adam K. Allen.