Rediscovering the Old and/or Finding the New, and other random thought because of my wine

I sit here at Cork and Co. enjoying a wine flight that includes Primarious Pinot Noir from Oregon, Kali Heart Pinot Noir from Santa Lucia, California and Lamelson Pinot Noir from Williamette, Oregon. As I sip down these different wines I can't help but let my mind wander. I have been in Austin for about a month-and-a-half now and already I am seeing changes in my life I wouldn't have dreamed about having. During my time here so far I have been reminding myself of pleasures that I have long forgotten in the present, such as some of the music I listened to in high school (like "The Dead Kennedy's"). I am also learning that I do miss the talent of film I have. The culture in Austin is quite amazing. I can always find something going on in the city (with the exception of Monday nights, they are a drag I must say). In someways there is to much going on in this city I can't handle it.

What I am learning new about myself is to do things alone. My entire life I always have had someone with me. I know it is not co-dependency it is more the fact that I am a very extrovert type of person. I love to surround myself around people. I have always known that fact. What I didn't know is that I don't have to have someone with me to go do stuff. The alone factor is what I am talking about. The things I am accomplishing and struggling with I am doing alone. I am looking at society and saying, "who cares if I go to a concert by myself, I am here for the music not the company." This is the same with movies as well. It felt awkward going to a movie by myself but I hate those who talk during a movie, going by oneself you are less likely to talk.

Don't worry though I am not alone in this city. I am not as surrounded by as many friends that I had been surrounding myself with in the past (which is not a bad thing either, I do miss all of my friends from Reno). Instead I am surrounding myself with a very few and learning a deeper philosophical view about the world. My conversations I have are by far the most intellectual conversations I have had yet. These conversations are so deep and meaningful that it does make questioning a more constant theme in my life. Although I go back to my intellectual roots and stick to my beliefs but it is opening up my mind even more and giving myself different insights and perspectives.

Overall this city is full of so many different surprises that almost anything I do or go to I think of someone who would fall in love with it. Whether it is live music at one of the many music venues or a rare video showing at the Alamo Draft House to some bizarre, or in Austin's words, weird event going on. To hearing about the homeless transvestite mayor candidate Leslie stories. I also learned that you are considered an Austin local once you have a Leslie story of your own.

At the same time I am reminded that I am from the desert. In fact I read a blog from a teacher I had a few years back in college and it spoke so true. He talked about how those few of us in the world that grow-up in the Nevada desert, specifically Reno are able to go on and do great things, that Reno breeds talent. While I am sitting here at this bar I can't help but reflect on this blog posting and think that he is ever so correct. People in Austin ask me all the time where my accent is from and I am never more proud to say that I am from Reno.

That is another thing I have learned about myself. After living in Reno for pretty much half of my life (but Nevada my entire life), that is where my roots are and will remain. I love that little city more than words can describe. I am a desert rat, I love the smell of the sage and I am damn proud to be from what some people described here as "that shit hole town." I can't help but smile and say "yes that 'shit hole town' that you apparently didn't visit the correct way." I always ask what they did when they where in Reno and they say something along the lines of "Circus Circus, Nugget" and I respond "Oh the the casinos, no wonder why you think it is a shit hole." I then tell them about the other side of Reno, my side of Reno, the outdoors, Lake Tahoe, the desert. I tell them if Reno is such a shit hole but you like me as a person (most of them do) I explain that Reno is a part of my personality. All of those classy things you love that I do is RenoClassy. I make them reflect on the shit hole and tell them to give it another chance. To understand Reno and see Reno the way I do, not the way of the casino that a lot of our parents work at. To see it for the individuals that Reno produces. I am damn proud of my hometown but as I have learned from my teacher I can be proud but I must let my talent explore the world and do something greater but also when or if I fail I know that that desert will be calling my name where I can shine.